This is Mythic Deviant with Sea Gabriel. yes, yes, it is.

Today our third segment on the Trickster: the Trickster as Sacred Monster. Go Monsters!
You may have noticed that I missed an episode last week. That’s because I’m putting it off—

Lucifer. Lucifer is not Satan. He’s different.

Lucifer’s name means “light bringer” and he is the original Abrahamic trickster. Like all trickster’s, he’s the smart one, and therefore rather endearing (for some).  He is an archangel, like Michael, protector Gabriel, messenger, Uriel, muse, and Rafael, healer. Lucifer is (yes is, not was) God’s Left-Hand Man.

Lucifer loves God. And he expects God to reciprocate. After all, he is pretty awesome. He’s got some ego-struggles going on.

One day when he’s feeling particularly proud (he’d just invented dopamine), he decides that he should go tell God, so God can say ‘good job’.

But God is not in. Apparently, he’s down on the Earth playing with his new toys: the humans. They are stupid, comparatively powerless, and self obsessed. They don’t even know the difference between good and evil. But God thinks they are so cool. And he’s spending all his time there.

Lucifer has created several super great things: silly putty, enchiladas, and non-toxic neon hair dye, but God has been too busy playing with his morons to even notice.

So Lucifer gets impatient and crawls up onto God’s throne to see where he is so he can time his return and pretend to be in the middle of something awesome when God gets back, winning the Lord of Host’s affections.

“Oh, sorry, God, I didn’t see you there. I was busy inventing orgasms.”

He puts his plan into action, but Is stunned when God shows up like “Lucifer, WTF, you left butt prints! You know you’re not supposed to be on my throne!”

Lucifer is hurt. “But I just wanted to know when you’d be home. I love you and I made you all this great stuff!” But God doesn’t care. He’s really tired. He had a hard day with Adam and Eve, who each apparently believe that the other is food. He’s just spent the 18 hours trying to convince them to procreate rather than barbecuing each other.

Sometimes God thinks the whole ‘protect them from the knowledge of good and evil’ thing is BS. Understanding does convey choice, but it also conveys the ability to make better choices. But he’s already set the rule. What to do . . .

God turns to Lucifer, knowing he’s the smartest of the group. “Tell you what Lucifer, you can make it up to me, just bow down before all human kind, admit that they’re the smartest game in town, and I’ll forgive you.”

Lucifer looks at God uncomprehendingly. “I’m the trickster, but you’re joking.”

“I’m not joking” God says. On your knees. God knows this is never happening. He and Lucifer have been hanging for eternity. Lucifer is an archangel with integrity, even if his love of ridiculous miscommunications often gets the better of all involved.

Lucifer thinks about it. He knows that, at the end of the day, all things are interdependent: Good cannot exist without evil. Smart cannot exist without stupid. Arrogance cannot exist without humility. And he knows that each of these things, these divine qualities, exist because they contribute to the diversity required to create and interesting and worthwhile world. He’s a smart angel.

And he realizes that all qualities must be acknowledged, appreciated, and celebrated, so that we have the courage and wisdom to learn from all our experiences. Lucifer is all about learning He’s all about fun. He’s all about equality. Really, he thinks, arrogance needs to be celebrated just as much as humility. That’s God’s real point. All things must be bowed to, even arrogance.

Meanwhile, other angels have become a background chorus of ‘Stand, Lucifer, Stand, Lucifer . . . “ and it’s wearing on God’s patience.

So Lucifer, emboldened by the chorus, turns to God and says “I’ll bow down to their ignorance if they bow down to my wisdom.” It’s at this point that God has a dramatic meltdown to impress the nearby saints. “Why can’t anyone just obey me? I’m God, damn it. Why am I spending all my time cajoling my theoretical servants into doing what I ask?”

So God grabs Lucifer by his robe, gives him a gentle kiss on the cheek, and tosses his butt out of heaven, drop kicking the cheering angels after him, who, frankly had really gotten on his almost eternally patient nerves.

Lucifer falls with a great and painful thud and, running with the improv scene, flips God the bird. “Your newest creations are idiots who think cannibalism is a good idea!” he shouts up to the Heavenly Hosts.

“Yes,” God agrees, “that’s why they need you down there! Do something. I need you on the ground! I can’t take it anymore!” and with that he stomps off to the spa for a long mugwort bath and looftah scour. He has secured Lucifer as the second in his Confidence Job and knows he’ll come through.

Lucifer thinks. He’s good at that. He knows that God sometimes loses his patience, but didn’t think he’d resort to needless violence. Poor dude really did have a hard day. Maybe he should have been more receptive. Maybe he should have had a nice drink and a hot bath ready for God when he got home. But too late now. God needs his help, and, apparently, is entrusting the naive imbeciles to him. So be it.

So, Lucifer brainstorms. How can he help God? Immediately, he has it. He can help with the cannibalistic infants! God just needs a little assistance getting around the rules. No one can spend all day everyday trying to convince people who don’t know good from evil that they should do good.

They need to know the difference so that they will do good things and God can finally relax and get some much needed rest. Maybe he can even have an orgasm. Lucifer has recently heard there is a cutie coming up in a few centuries . . .  just God’s type.

So Lucifer shapeshifts into a snake, grabs an apple from the tree of good and evil, and slithers up to Eve. Surely she can save their race, even if her overly controlling cannibal of a partner does want to eat her. And so, as a snake, as the trickster he is, he bows: both to God and to man. He puts aside his ego and does what needs to be done.

The real lesson in this story is the importance of recognizing the sacred in everything: in foolishness and brilliance, in obedience and disobedience, in humility and in arrogance. We must all bow: to that which we are and to that which we are not. If not we will fall. Humanity, like Lucifer, has come to believe that we are Gods, that we control, or should control, this world. The story of Lucifer demonstrates that we do not, and should not. That our place is to one-of, not one-over.

And this is an important lesson these days, in particular. We have gotten into the habit of persecuting groups of all kinds: gender non-binary individuals, blacks, and illegal aliens (whatever that means) are all under attack above our cultural radar. And that’s not all right. Black lives do matter. Non-gender binary lives do matter.

The killing of women, which happens three times as often as black men and seven times as often as gender non-binary individuals, is not a hate crime. Few are even aware that men are the primary cause of death for young to middle aged heterosexual women. Female lives also matter, but that is not my point.

My point is that if we take the time to defend people one quality at a time we may all be dead before any of us are safe (except, of course the select few who won the genetic lottery—and it’s not their fault either. They, too, were born into this system—and we all need to repair it).

This is where Lucifer, the light-bringer, shines. He teaches us to bow down: to all creation. He shows us that evil is not outside, but in our choice, that trajectory is not set, but malleable, that we each have the ability to save ourselves and each other if only we will put aside our egos and bow.[ Sea Gabriel, 01/08/16 19:04] down before all creation, even when it makes us look like snakes.

Back to top